Last night, I watched an hour-long video recording of a high school English Literature workshop dissecting a piece of my writing.

I think that’s the closest I’ll get to experience my own funeral. Even eulogies don’t go that long.

When asked if the students are on the Subtle Asian Cooking Facebook group, one boy confessed to having left the group.

“It was toxic, and I wasn’t getting anything out of it.”

That boy, I like him.

When I joined SAC last year, I did feel a sense of unity and belonging. Especially when all the Asian hate crimes were happening, we were nicer to each other. I mean, strangers bought my book, right?

Maybe because life is back to normal now? Everyone’s grumpy that nothing changed with a new president. That lalaland of sourdough baking is over. Moldy starters, in the drain.

Maybe it’s the new format too. They started allowing questions.

’What should I make with this jar of sauce?’
’What does this label say?’

I’m just the guy with words.
Imagine if you’re the one who took the time to write, style, photograph, and video your content. Imagine your posts getting buried under a sea of ‘please recommend some Chinese dishes for my husband who hates vegetables’.

When you can hear your inner voice auto-responsing ‘I dunno, why don’t you just use a search engine, are you five?’, you know it’s time.

Time to ask: can I go back to a time and place before Subtle Asian Cooking?

I think subconsciously, that’s why I wanted to make the book, start a newsletter. I wanted to see how the ‘likes’ translate to something tangible.

I gave myself a target - 1000 books within 12 months.
I’m at 989 now with 2 months to spare, so I’m comfortable.

Question is, what’s next after November 20th?

I can’t pinpoint the exact quote, but I remember seeing it printed in the hallway of my old ad agency.

A good speaker makes you admire the speech; a great speaker makes you charge into a battle for him.

Towards the end of the English lesson, after the analysis of the writing, Lipin asked her students: “Isn’t he a good writer?”
Everyone nodded in agreement.

But, none of them are going to make the purin, right?
Year 12 students getting ready for exams? Come on.

The reason I started writing the recipes, was to share them with my friends. So they had something to cook during the lockdown. I’m still not sure how I feel about the writing superceding the food.

Given a choice, I’d much rather cook for my family, than write for likes.

Having said that, I don’t mind writing for money.

Remember the online Asian grocery in the US I spoke about?
I got paid to write some recipes. So I have a shiny donabe clay pot in the kitchen now.

I’ve been helping out with the copywriter friend with slogans, headlines, brand names.

A client who usually engages me for design and photography, having seen the book, now entrusts me to write for upcoming projects too.

How about writing for the greater good?

I haven’t pitched to Broadsheet since 2016.
Last week, I submitted one for Santiago who bought my book during the launch. I helped him to deliver his Heisenberg-grade Nama Chocos, so I thought I’d try to help promote his business too.

I was pretty stoked when the editor said yes.

It’s so hard to quit SAC though. It’s still kind of like (a dysfunctional) family. Maybe it’s the Asian thing. You dread the creepy uncle and the plastic auntie, but the food kinda makes up for it.

I still enjoy meeting people.

Last week, I ‘bumped into’ 3 readers with their books in my backpack. What a coincidence!

One was a first-year uni student - I took her to a cafe she didn’t know about, 100m away from her apartment. I felt useful.

I met a chef and manager in training. She currently works for Dingo Ate My Tacos. She said they make everything from scratch. I felt educated.

I met a mum of two teenage kids. She used to be a planner in advertising in Hong Kong, Japan. We talked about the echoes of Asian parenting. She messaged a photo of her curry preparation. I felt appreciated.

I don’t want to jinx it by giving away too much.

But when this is over, I want to organise something physical.

I haven’t decided on the scale.

Maybe, if we’re out of lockdown … something like a soy sauce tasting session?

IF we’re out of lockdown, we can just collectively visit a restaurant(s), take away some food, chit chat, help out a small business.

I’m thinking of ending things … online, and start doing more with real life.

What do you think?

Hi there! If you’re new here, thanks for buying my book.
You can access all the previous newsletters here.

Recently I’m writing a lot more on Instagram promoting local businesses. I also started reminiscing about my 10 years being a wedding photographer here.

Eat well, stay safe.